Life in a roller coaster!

21st June 2018

Stop the Train I want to get off!

Life feels really hectic at the moment. And I am not really coping, trying to be something for everyone and not managing that very well. Last week was better, I had my mum to help and sort out a lot of my stuff in the house and for the forthcoming garage sale. But really in attempting to take my mind off the looming surgery it’s actually made it seem like I have too many things going on and I am being stretched in all different directions, not least in terms of providing options for keeping the kids occupied over summer holidays.

I want to keep things as steady as they can be but even the plans I want to make cost money and we don’t have much spare.

Everything seems to be happening on the same days and I try as hard as I can to hold up this facade of coping, but I’m not. I have to undergo pretty serious surgery in a month and I am scared beyond words: I am petrified.

I hoped really that I’d go see my consultant today and she would tell us they had reconsidered but she said 4 consultants all thought it had to be done. The cells are going to be consistent through my milk ducts and with the 9cm cyst going across the breast I don’t really have any other options...

I did make her laugh, however, when I described my reaction to the plastic surgeon’s doodles; normally, her patients swoon rather than vomit! 

Please find me superhuman strength to get through the coming months because it’s going to be really hard. I typed this initially with tears streaming down my face. This is HARD.