Mayday meanders

14th May 2018 

Anniversaries: Third year in? 

We have officially lived in Letchworth for 3 years. And boy, they have been full. 

I’m into my twelfth year of MS diagnosis with all the disruption that can bring and am now five days into my diagnosis of precancerous tumour on my right breast. And that has filled me with more fear, anguish and uncertainty than an incurable condition has. Crikey, I am absolutely terrified if I am going to continue being honest. Insomnia has hit several nights running and it’s currently 3 in the morning.

Relapse city is close - I can sense it. MS is unrelenting, I know that, but I continue to think I can slay the MonSter. Can I do the same with Tommy Tumour? (I don’t know if there is an acronym people use but Tommy is my name for now...) Tecfidera is my drug of choice these days and I don’t feel as anxious or cranky as I did on Rebif. I’ve asked the questions - has the Tec caused this? - come to think of it, has the seven years of Rebif? Or has another habit caused this invader? Again it’s a question I can ask but it’s unlikely I will ever know. So life goes on with unswayed optimism? Possibly a little bit shaken.

I set up this blog as a gardening blog, so I apologise if the last few months have taken a few detours from the primary goal, but life’s like that. We have found someone to fit some gates, and with the gift of blarney, I think he may help us to get rid of some of the rubbish too. Everybody knows each other in Letchworth and I think Michael knows Trevor our builder, and they run into each other at builders yards. (The ones we can’t find, which do great discounts to the Trade. I tried hard to find the cheapest gate supplier, but Michael is in the know...) Again this work in progress is showing promise. We may soon have a secure garden to Borrow A Doggy. Cody the Schnauzer may have a competitor in Jasmine the Greyhound!

Doo you see how full our life still is? Tommy or Alfie Asperger won’t take over, we won’t let them.

Nothing good...

Rosemary in blossom

29th April 2018

Life’s a b*tch sometimes?
I’ve spent the last couple of days getting my head around the hospital appointment I had on Thursday. I am not going to hold a pity party, I am just going to keep going as normal. It’s the only thing I can do and it’s the only thing my family will allow me to do. 

Thing is I’m not going to drop down dead tomorrow (unless I’m really unlucky...) but the diagnosis and recommendations are not easy to hear. The good news according to what I was told is that the biopsy discovered precancerous cells, but they’re contained, so not in random positions at the moment. The bad news I have to have another scan which will tell them whether to do a lumpectomy or a mastectomy. So you can see the jump here, it’s been caught early but I am still looking at getting bits of me cut off?

I will allow myself to digest that little bit of news and think of ways I can escape to the garden and shed a little self-pity. Hopefully, some of last years bulbs and plants will have a calming effect and it’s still a project to keep myself busy with. I’ve downsized some of my commitments so that I can focus on my health and family for now and I’ll keep posting the good bits of the garden. And my obsession with weeds is going to die down... bits of me are not currently desirable but hey ho! Life's a bowl of strawberries.